(longo, mas vale a pena ler... esta terra é isto mesmo... sem exageros)
1. You have tried the symbol of British food: a breaded piece of fish with fries, and they call it "fish & chips".
2. You see semi-naked girls in the streets and boys wearing t-shirts with temperatures below zero.
3. You have travelled to London just for 1 pound with a fun fare, and you love it.
4. You wake up every morning knowing that it's quite unlikely that you're going to see the sun.
5. You drink pints every day and you love them.
6. You see people having a pee while they get money from a cash machine.
7. You realize that dinner time is 6pm.
8. You see people drunk in the streets at 8pm.
9. You are kicked out of a pub at 11.30 pm.
10. You have learned the difference between pasty and pastry, and you've tried a Cornish Pasty.
11. You see people wearing flipflops and shorts even though it's raining.
12. You've said "Cheers, mate" more than twice.
13. You've tried to buy a traditional coffee maker and you've failed.
14. You realize the most important religion is not Christianity but Rugby.
15. You wonder why the concept of "proper curtains" hasn't arrived to this country yet.
16. You hear and say "sorry" at least 10 times a day.
17. You've seen naked women on the second (and first, and third...) page of the daily newspapers.
18. After a failed conversation with someone in the street you wonder whether he/she was speaking in Scottish, Gaelic, Welsh, Cornish, Irish or English.
19. You see Tesco as an important social meeting point.
20. You have struggled trying to convert from Farenhait to Celsius, from Miles to Kilometers and from Pounds to Euros, but you know a pint is 0.56 litres.
21. You have been driving on the wrong side of the road.
22. You have seen old people smiling at you in the street.
23. You have been asked for "some spare change" by an unknown person.
24. You see 3 kebab shops and 2 indian restaurants on every street.
25. You've had a Full English Breakfast with bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, etc. and you think it's amazing.
26. You've thought more than ten times that the car you have just seen was driven by nobody.
27. You have tried to destroy the fire alarm at least a couple of times.
28. You see a group of people wearing fancy dress every time you go out at night.
29. You have been in a pub next to a really drunk lady, that you think could even be your grandma.
30. You think you're going to visit a palace, a castle or a chapel and you only see a few old stones.
31. You're outside and don't even notice it's raining anymore, because it is just simply normal to you by now.
32. You realise that any kind of food can be eaten with anything else, no matter how weird the combination is.
33. In case you need to get your hands clean, you realise that you only have two options: boil your hands in water near to 90º or see how they become two beautiful ice-cubes.
34. You have a sink in your bedroom.
35. You find machines in pubs in which you can buy condoms, vibrators, lubricant and even a Hair Straightener.
36. Your house and surroundings are full of rubbish bags because rubbish is collected just once per week.
37. You ask for a double whisky in a pub and the quantity you're given is just ridiculous!!
38. You see potatoes everywhere, in all different forms and shapes, i.e. boiled potatoes, jacket potatoes, mashed potatoes, chips, crisps, etc.
39. You realize that no matter how weird the clothes you're wearing are, people just won't care.
40. You have hoovered your room at least once.
41. You shake the hand of someone of the opposite sex you've just met.
42. You drink as much tea with milk as you drink beer (at least 5 times a day).
43. You realize that being served alcohol in an academic seminar is completely normal.
44. You learn that 4 cups of tea per day is good for you.
45. You see daffodils growing EVERYwhere, all year round.
46. You find yourself discussing what brand of baked beans is the best...and it doesn't scare you.
47. You find yourself breaking into an English accent when trying to order a cuppa tea.
48. You see all four seasons in one day. First sun (oh blessed sun!), then rain, then snow, then hail. And sun, and rain, then...aaaah!
49. "Hello/Hey, how are you?" is replaced by "You alright?"
50. You find yourself going out partying wearing only a little top... and it's raining! And above all it's normal because everybody is dressed like that!!
51. It's only five and every single shop is closed!
52. You've bought something at Argos!!
53. You don't go out to go out, but to get drunk.
54. You don't mind the food anymore...
55. Subway is the healthiest meal you can think of.
56. You think that having a dildo is mandatory for every woman, and that Ann Summers rocks your sexual life!
57. You find it normal that clubs are full of screaming semi-naked drunk (British) girls trying to do their make up and hair again and again.
58. You feel like a nun when you wear trousers or skirt longer than your knees and tops to go out.
59. You discover that a simple train ticket can vary from a price of £8 to £30 for the same train, time and journey.
60. You realize that you have never seen an English Restaurant.
61. You realize that British people are queuing politely everywhere except at the bar counter.
62. You discover there is a "potato" function on the microwave!!!
63. Your umbrellas have broken at least twice and you are still hoping not to break the new one even if it's May!
64. You realize that you can get decent (dark, rye, healthy) bread in every European country except for the UK...and no, toast is not considered a proper kind of bread...
65. You are certainly annoyed by their stupid sockets
66. You realize that every product you buy "may contain traces of nuts".
67. Your sentences begin with "To be honest...".
68. You are addressed as "treacle, sugarplumb, darling, sweetheart, love, ..." (and all other versions of nicknames in that genre you normally only call your wife/lover) by the staff in supermarkets, pubs and restaurants.
69. You are affected by CCTV paranoia.
70. You can watch, on a Saturday night, Dancing on Ice, Strictly Come Dancing, Pop Idol, X Factor, Big Brother, Celebrity Big Brother, I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here (and so on) simultaneously!
71. You are not surprised to see an old lady, her daughter and her granddaughter dancing together in a club.
72. You talk about the weather all the time.
73. You've become addicted to cookery shows and think Gordon Ramsey is a (sexy) god.
74. You hear "WHA" instead of W-H-A-T ! and "THA" instead of T-H-A-T!!!
75. You own an electric kettle.
76. You've been run over for looking the wrong way.
77. Hourly weather forecasts now seem normal to you.
78. You consider anything above 15° "hot" and, therefore, short-worthy.
(*) estranhamente, estando cá há 3 meses, acho que já senti/experimentei a maior parte desta lista...
